


Let The Past Die

by Awkward_Bookworm



Series: Rey and Ben Deserve Better [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Married Life, Married Sex, Oral Sex, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Trost Arc, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Trost Arc Spoilers, how it should have ended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:33:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22523296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Bookworm/pseuds/Awkward_Bookworm
Summary: Ben gritted his teeth and raised his saber. He wanted to end it quickly this time, so he took the offense right away. But with every hit, he remembered Kef Bir and how angry Rey was. Ben’s strength failed as he relived his memory, and she began beating him back. As he fell to the ground, Ben recalled his mother’s passing and Rey’s lightsaber piercing directly through his chest.Rey finally realized something was wrong, and she hooked her saber to her belt, dropping to her knees and clasping his face in her hands.“Ben, what’s wrong?” she asked frantically. His mind’s shields were down, and Rey wavered, if only for a moment, before closing her eyes and diving into his head. She opened them with a gasp and Ben flinched, still breathing hard.“You idiot,” she muttered, although her face was full of concern. “You’re still dwelling on all that?”[A story in which Ben struggles to let go of his mistakes-- post TROS]
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Series: Rey and Ben Deserve Better [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617067
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	Let The Past Die

**Author's Note:**

> You know, even though I've done it a few times now, I am still super embarrassed every time I write something smutty XD 
> 
> Anyways, this is an alternative ending to TROS in which Ben lives. I hope you enjoy!

The sound of saber hitting saber shattered through the calm, making birds fly from their nests in alarm. Rey jumped back and considered how to attack next. Ben stood impatiently, waiting for her to make her move. He didn’t even bother guarding, and instead twirled his lightsaber around in a circle. 

“I don’t think you’re taking this seriously, Ben,” Rey growled. Ben shrugged and gave her a cocky smile that reminded her a lot of his father. 

“Of course I am,” he retorted half-heartedly. Rey narrowed her eyes and then started running towards her right. Ben sighed, and then chased her. She led him into the woods nearby their home. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Ben yelled. He had lost sight of her at the tree line and looked around warily. He hated sparring with her because he was reminded too much of his past. And he was worried he would hurt her. 

“Rey?” he asked.

Suddenly his body went flying and his back slammed into a tree trunk. Rey was there in an instant, hovering over him. Her face was full of concern. 

“BEN!” She patted him down, checking for injuries, causing him to groan. “Where are you hurt?” she asked in a panic. 

“I’m fine,” he grumbled. Rey made a face for a moment but thought better of it. She propped him up. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought you’d… well, defend yourself,” she said awkwardly. Ben laughed and then regretted it, flinching at the pain. Her face was full of guilt. 

“I didn’t see it coming,” he said honestly. “You got me,” he added with a chuckle. 

“It’s not funny, Ben!” Rey whined. She grabbed his arm and pulled it over her shoulder, lifting him up. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, trying not to laugh. She was too tiny for this. 

“I’m going to help you walk home,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Rey… you’re too… never mind.”

He knew she wanted to smack him, and it was taking a lot of impulse control for her to smile. Ben tried to stand up more fully, and together, they hobbled out of the forest. 

“I knew you weren’t paying attention,” she said angrily, moments later. Oh, here it comes, he thought. “You never really fight me seriously anymore, Ben.”

Ben pulled away in frustration, and she looked genuinely upset. She clutched his shirt. “Let me help you,” she pleaded. He shook his head. 

“I’m fine, Rey. I can walk on my own.”

“I’m sorry,” Rey said again. Ben smiled and kissed her on the cheek. 

“It’s okay, really. And next time I’ll be more vigilant, okay?”

Rey beamed. “Deal.”

As they climbed into bed that night, Ben draped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest. Rey struggled to roll over so she could make eye contact, their feet brushing against each other, and he dotted her lips with sweet kisses until they were both too tired and eventually drifted off. 

When she woke up, Rey was still snuggled up with Ben. She brushed his hair out of his face and traced his jawline with her finger. It was times like this where she could really appreciate how handsome he was. Ben slowly opened his eyes and smiled. 

“Good morning,” she murmured softly, nuzzling his neck. 

Ben sighed and pushed her on her back. Rey giggled. He was so easy to excite. His lips brushed hers gingerly at first, then he kissed her. When he slid his tongue into her mouth, Rey heard herself moan embarrassingly, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pinned her legs down with his thighs and kissed her until they both needed to breathe. 

“Ben,” Rey panted. “Not now.” 

He shook his head childishly and kissed her, making her moan again before pushing him off. “Come on,” she teased. “It’s too early.” 

Ben looked around in mock surprise. “Whose rules are those?” he said. “I don’t see anyone else around.”

Rey laughed and pushed him lightly on the shoulder, making him grin too. “Let’s go, we have work to do,” she said. 

They passed the day doing chores and getting things done around the new house. They had found it abandoned after the war ended, and they worked hard together to clean it up and make it livable. 

Most of the hard work was done, but they still had repairs and improvements here and there to address. After a good meal, Rey tried to study Luke’s old notes, but Ben kept cuddling her and distracting her, so she gave up. 

“How’s your back?” she asked him finally pushing away the journals and letting Ben hold her. She was sitting in his lap and he rested his chin on her shoulder from behind. 

“It’s better now,” he said. 

“There’s no more pain?” she asked. 

“Mmhm.” He kissed her neck lightly. Rey tried to ignore his advances, although, admittedly, he was making that difficult to do. 

“Then let’s spar,” she suggested. Ben sighed and Rey grabbed his arms resting in her lap. “Eventually we are going to have to train the next generation of Jedi, Ben. We need to train together and make sure we’re ready,” she explained. 

She ran her hands down his arms and locked her fingers in his. Ben grumbled behind her. 

“Fine,” he said, after a few moments. Rey let go, grinning, and jumped up, grabbing her lightsaber. Ben followed tentatively behind. 

As they went outside, the sky darkened, and Ben was sure he could hear a rumbling in the distance. 

“Rey,” he said. “Maybe we should wait. I think a storm is coming.”

“No way,” she said. “You’re not getting out of this one, Ben Solo.”

Ben looked at the sky and grimaced. She ignited her saber, and he followed suit. Rey’s fighting style was very aggressive, as his used to be, but now Ben held back. Every time they fought now, he remembered their old fights, especially the last one on the wreckage of the Death Star. 

Ben was careful to guard his mind at times like these. He didn’t want her to know that he was thinking this way. 

Rey grunted, hacking and slashing at him until she was out of breath. She stood cautiously, chest heaving. 

“You haven’t even tried to hit me,” she said, controlling her tone. 

Ben knew she was restrained so as not to upset him, but she was definitely irritated with him. So he leapt forward and swung at her, but he was telegraphing his moves, making sure she could block. Nevertheless, he beat her back and overpowered her. She fell backwards and landed on her rear.

Ben extinguished his saber and offered her his hand. Begrudgingly, she took it. “Are you pouting?” he asked, looking closely at her face. Rey gazed away stubbornly, and Ben laughed. 

“I just can’t win with you, can I, sweetheart?”

Hearing his new nickname for her, Rey blushed. “You just did,” she said lamely. 

“You know what I meant,” he said. Rey sighed, and then her expression hardened. She was nothing, if not stubborn. 

“One more round,” she insisted. 

“Rey…” 

“Please, Ben, just one more!”

Ben gritted his teeth and raised his saber. He wanted to end it quickly this time, so he took the offense right away. Rey blocked him, and she fought well as usual. He felt himself become invested in the fight. He wanted to win. 

But with every hit, he remembered Kef Bir and how angry Rey was. He remembered how he had almost tainted her, turning her to the Darkside. 

The thunder overhead was louder now, and it began to rain. At first, it was only a drizzle, but it grew heavier as they fought. Their feet slipped in the mud and their clothes and hair were drenched.

Ben’s strength failed as he relived his memory, and she began beating him back. Their fight mirrored the past, and as he fell to the ground, Ben recalled his mother’s passing and Rey’s lightsaber piercing directly through his chest. 

He took deep breaths but still seemed unable to calm down. At this point, Rey had finally realized something was wrong, and she hooked her saber to her belt, dropping to her knees and clasping his face in her hands. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?” she asked frantically. His mind’s shields were down, and Rey wavered, if only for a moment, before closing her eyes and diving into his head. She opened them with a gasp and Ben flinched, still breathing hard. 

“You idiot,” she muttered, although her face was full of concern. “You’re still dwelling on all that?”

Ben swallowed hard and said nothing. His silence was louder than words. 

“Ben,” Rey protested, “we’re just sparring. It’s not real!”

His face tightened but his eyes were weak. 

“If you were still so affected by our past, you should have said something!” she insisted. “I can help you.”

Rainwater trickled down their faces and a puddle had formed where Ben was sitting in the mud. When he didn’t answer yet again, she sighed and pulled him up by the shirt, kissing him roughly. He leaned into the kiss and gripped her waist desperately. 

When they parted, his eyes were wide and distraught, searching her face. Rey grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house. They hadn’t even made it to the bedroom before she pushed him into the door, and then the wall, kissing him hard. Ben groaned, and she gripped his shoulders, pulling him down to her height. 

He must have decided that this was too much work, because he seized her by the hips and pulled her up to his waist, allowing her to wrap her legs around him. He whipped around, shoved her into the wall, and began necking her. 

Rey gasped and clutched his back. His mouth was warm on her skin, and it was making her whole body tingly. She found the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, making him break his kisses along her collarbone to shed the clothing. 

Ben dropped her to her feet, and they quickly undressed each other down to the underwear. Then Rey backed into the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothing in their wake, and almost tripping over her own trembling feet. But Ben caught her, sliding one arm around her waist. He lowered her on the bed and kissed her passionately. 

“Be… careful… Rey,” he panted between kisses. Under different circumstances she would have laughed at how ridiculous he was being, but as things were, she was way too hot and bothered to go there. 

She parted her legs and clamped them around his hips. Automatically, Ben grinded against her, making her whimper. Her hands were in his hair as he began sucking on her breasts. 

“Oh, oh, okay,” she panted. She felt him run his fingers over her hips, pulling her underwear down slowly, and a shock shot through her whole body. Her hips bucked and Ben looked up, surprised. Rey’s face turned a bright shade of scarlet. 

The corner of his mouth twitched, and she knew she’d be hearing about this later. Then he pressed his lips lightly on her belly and grazed them down. Rey thought she might stop breathing as he kissed lower and lower, hands stroking her thighs. 

“Ben?” she asked, breathless. 

He didn’t respond, but instead spread her legs more. Unexpectedly, he positioned himself before her and slid his tongue inside. At first Rey didn’t understand. And then he began licking, circling his tongue around a sensitive knot of nerves deep inside her. 

Rey moaned, and her back arched in pleasure as he continued. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from moaning his name pathetically, which only made him push firmer and faster with his tongue. 

Eventually she came, whole body quaking, as a bomb went off inside her, overpowering her with a flood of pleasure. Rey was still coming down when he climbed back up, his cheeks rosy. 

He kissed her frantically, and she could feel his desire pressing against her groin. She sat up and pushed the thin fabric off him and glided her hands down his thick torso, settling on his hips.

Their eyes locked and he was so stunning that she almost lost her breath. His hair hung over his eyes and his chest was heaving, lips parted. 

“I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” she answered, her chest tight. “Ben, don’t be scared anymore. Be with me.” 

He nodded, and his mouth collided into hers. He settled a hand under her lower back as his other hand lifted her leg, wrapping it around his waist. He didn’t give her any warning before plunging inside her, completely filling her with his length. 

Rey gasped, breaking the kiss. Ben’s breath hitched as he began rocking against her. He closed his eyes and moaned. His nose brushed against hers as he pumped, their breath mingling, and Rey hugged him close. She felt his hand on her back adjust the angle of her hips. 

“Ahhh, Rey,” he stammered, pulling her closer. 

Rey groaned, feeling him even deeper now. He thrusted harder and Rey found his mouth, kissing him fiercely. Her hands roamed his hair and he started panting her name breathlessly. 

“Ben, faster,” she begged, her voice high, knowing she was almost there. 

He pulled back a little, gripped the sheets on either side of her head, and pumped wildly, earning a low whine from Rey. He locked eyes with her and finished with a rough thrust that sent them both over the edge. Rey cried out, and Ben groaned loudly, his hips buckling, before collapsing on her. 

“I swear….” Rey panted after a minute, “if you’re keeping any more secrets from me… you better spill them now…”

Ben laughed and rolled over, lying next to her on his back. He turned his head and they looked at each other. Ben gave her a huge smile. 

“No, that was it,” he confessed. 

“That was it, he says,” she repeated sarcastically. “Like it was no big deal…”

Ben laughed again and Rey rolled on her side. “I love you, you big idiot,” she muttered. “So stop living in the past, okay?”

He smiled playfully. “What if I don’t?” he teased. “Are you going to comfort me again? Because I don’t mind…”

“Hmph, wow, you’re something,” she huffed, her face bright red. “I’m trying to be serious right now, you know?” 

Ben grinned and stroked her face with the back of his fingers before pulling her into a warm embrace. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Rey wrapped her arms around him and rested her forehead on his shoulder. “And?”

“And I promise to stop thinking about the past.” He paused. “But if I do... think about it? I’ll let you know.”

Rey suppressed a huge smile and sighed contentedly. “You better, you dork.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I'm so hung up on Ben having PTSD but it just seems like he would.... right? Am I nuts?? 
> 
> But whatever, please feel free to let me know what you think in the comments or if you have any story suggestions, I'd be excited to read those too. I'm having such a blast writing about these two dorks.


End file.
